Meditation this morning put me in touch with what I perceive as a conundrum taking place Within myself. The term conundrum means a difficult problem or question, and in my case it means… and strangely enough, the question of whether a strong desire to make progress in my Meditation is perhaps an “attachment,” which may be ego [MIND-driven] rather than desire [Soul-driven]?
That is, how does one determine whether a desire to make progress springs from one’s Soul [and a true longing for Spiritual growth], or a subtle attempt of one’s MIND to interject itself into one’s desire to rise above one’s MIND, and in doing so subtly “control” the Meditation? That is, the MIND subtly proposes an interesting question [such as the conundrum in question], and this stimulates my brain to try and resolve the question… thus, retaining my attention in my brain, rather than focused on the eye-center, which leads [when focused upon properly] to a mystical space ‘above’ the MIND?
Quite literally the “door” to one’s Spiritual Realm is located at what Mystics refer to as the Eye Center, or a space between the two physical eyes, and slightly above the eyes. If one’s focus is substantial, one can subtly separate one’s “attention” from both the brain and the MIND for a period of time.
So, in answer to my own question… since I began to ponder the question… it is obvious that my MIND was successful in its purpose. So, what does that tell me?
It tells me that my desire to “try and know” [as opposed to simply Trusting that what I need to KNOW will be provided to me via my Intuition], is still very strong in me. Is this an indication of a lack of Trust? Or is it merely habit? Or, is it an indication of impatience, which means ego? I suspect it is ego, which means my MIND, and that is no surprise. What to do about it?
What I intend to do about it is simply remember what My Spiritual Master once said: “If during Meditation, you do not feel love for the Master, then pretend you love the Master, and leave the rest to Master.” In other words, I have taken note of the problem, and now I will return to my Meditation… with a reminder to self… do the Simran and forget everything else.
Peace, Brother James